The flight, the arrival: November 22, 2004

Thank God for business class travel. What the food lacked in volume, it made up for in quality, and the beverages flew fast n' furious. A scotch neat was delivered swiftly and in volume, allowing me some fleeting moments of sleep through the 19 hours of total travel time. Having a personal TV at my hand made no difference to the overall quality of the flight, but certainly made it more interesting. As I rifled through the selection of channels, I saw the same three shitty movies in 18 different languages, each on its own channel. Watching "I, Robot" in Hindi was certainly an overall positive contribution to the film. The momentary full frontal gay porn scene on some Canadian cinematic contribution was certainly a unique thing to find on an in-flight movie, especially for my mid sixties seat mate from Ireland. I hope the next step in Business Class travel will be flight attendants dressed in Hooters Girls uniforms.

The stopover in Hawaii was looking quite painful until the attendant informed us that we could use the JAL Executive Lounge while we waited for the plane to be refueled & cleaned. The hard economic times in Japan were reflected by the JAL lounge. Seemingly unchanged or unrenovated since the late 1960's, its décor was a symphony in orange, avocado & chrome. Lava lamps & leisure suits would not have been out of place, and a faint whiff of Brut cologne hung in the air. I almost expected Steve McGarrett to enter the room at any time, spouting the timeless catchphrase, "Book em' Danno...". No sushi here, just an attendant with a beehive hairdo and bee sting attitude. All customer inquiries were greeted with a series of grunts and flailing arms.
 

Stop One: Sydney
 

I was at the hotel in Sydney by 8:00 am, with no room available until 2:00 pm. I had to wander zombie-like through the Kings Cross district of Sydney for hours: A jet-lagged chronological castaway looking for a reason to stay awake. Reason found: Australian beer.

I kicked off the tour with Coopers Pale Ale, which poured with a translucence that rivaled the best Bavarian hefeweizen. Coopers bottled beers are in fact bottle-conditioned, and the draught carried a mighty yeast load indeed. Crisp, with a slight pineapple-citrus aroma, and a light color that was seemingly more Pils than pale ale. This was consumed in a sports bar in the middle of the Kings Cross "Entertainment District", which it would only be considered if you are Larry Flint. Consisting of porn stores, strip bars, and convenience outlets, it is entertaining to the extent that you can see nightly the flotsam of civilization being view by the jetsam from behind the safety of glass bar fronts. A selection of street workers can be found on the Cross from dawn til dusk, only becoming more animated and populated as the evening arrives. All and all, a great place to have my hotel situated!

Finally in the room at the Devere Hotel, I am surprised about the view: In a small but serviceable place, the table at the window in my room overlooks an amazing sights of boats anchored in a small bay, with distant views of islands and surrounding peninsulas. The homes that wind along the ridge falling from the hotel make it look as though the hotel is situated in the Greek Islands. A terrific thing to wake up to, this hotel is quite a bargain at $65 pn Canadian, including a full buffet breakfast (including medium-rare bacon).

My boss & very good friend Lyn Kruger says that Sydney is her second favorite city in the world (behind either London or Calcutta...I can't remember which), and my God, I can see why. You can speak volumes about a climate that is hot & dry, inviting all residents to get outside and ignore the great indoors. Sydneysiders (a term given by a barman at the Australian Hotel) are an outdoorsy lot, given to activities like surfing, cycling, and lingering at outdoor venues until the hours become cooler and more forgiving. The temperature had hovered in the low 30's in the past days, and when one walks an average of 5 hours per day, that is a daunting figure.

The architecture is a mix of historic & cutting-edge, with contemporary Asian influences blending with British-style landmarks. For the first while, I thought many Aussies suffered from Tourette's Syndrome, swinging their arms wildly as they walk, muttering curses at the wind. However, I soon learned it is a reaction to the ever-present flies that follow you everywhere. I swear I have had the same three flies in my orbit for the entire duration of my stay. I have named they Rumsfeld, Cheney, and Wolfowitz.

I cannot overstate the beauty of this city. The downtown core offers Sydney Harbor & Darling Harbour. Sydney Harbor is the connecting point where all the ferries, busses and trains converge. The focal point is the Sydney Opera House, with its magnificent external structure of overlapping sails. The Opera House (as opposed to Oprah's house in Chicago, which is probably quite a bit bigger) stands in line with the Sydney Harbor Bridge, which is apparently the best place in the world to view the New Year's fireworks display (sorry, Times Square, but you are so twenty years ago). Darling Harbor, on the other hand, is festooned with bars & restaurants along the walkway that are far too inviting to be ignored. Along Darling Harbor, the James Squire Brewpub offers handcrafted ales & lagers, and features a stunning view amongst the tourist  traffic. My friend & brewer Chuck Hahn treated me to a terrific afternoon of beer & seafood that rivaled each other for freshness. Chuck started the Malt Shovel Brewery and the James Squire brand in Australia, which have become the biggest success story in Australian craft brewing. The James Squire beers represent some of the best beers the nation has to offer, including an English-style IPA that ranks among the finest representations of the style available anywhere in the world.

I refuse to drive a vehicle here, because I hate driving in my own country, let alone in one where I would need to hold up a mirror in order to find the correct side to drive on. Being a pedestrian is no easier, as I constantly put my life in my hands by looking to the left for oncoming traffic before crossing the streets. Wrong. Darwin knew about Australia. Cars are, in fact, predators.

Speaking of beer (did I ever stop?), the best stop for beverage selection is the Australian Hotel bar, which is in an area called The Rocks just off Sydney Harbor. The Australian is a heritage hotel built in 1913, sporting one of the biggest selections of beer in Australia. With over 90 beer brands available, the Australian is one-stop-shopping for beer lovers, with brewers like Holgate, Mountain Goat, Little Creatures and many, many more. You can sit in the blazing sun in their sidewalk seating area, roasting on the outside while you cool your insides with a frosty wobbly-pop. All beer in Sydney is served glacier-cold. It is always hot here, so you better consume fast. Most people order half-pints frequently rather than full pints, so keep you bartender close by.

I enjoyed a Little Creatures Pale Ale while at the Australian. Like most of the Aussie beers I have tried, it has big mouthfeel, which kind of flies in the face of hot weather beer consumption. While most of the beer consumed here is of the standard-light-international-pilsner variety, mouthfeel is a characteristic that the all beers carry. I have run the gamut of Tooheys, Carlton, V-B, and the major popular beers, and they all seem to finish with a really full viscosity. This is unlike the American counterparts, which tend to lack weight on the palate.

Back to the Little Creatures Pale Ale, it is very full-bodied with a lovely floral-citrus hop aroma. Light copper colored with a slight haze, it carries hints of cedar aromatics with a bittering that hangs on longer than the malt is willing to. This is the closest to a Pacific Northwest beer that I have come upon while in Sydney.

Average price for a pint: Probably $4 US. Craft Beer: $5 US.

Most unique Sydney moment: While at a hospitality bar doing tastings of a brewer's portfolio, I was watching my host rinse out my glass on a rinse station (invert glass, press down, it shoots water up into the glass). As he was talking to me, I was looking at the glass rinser, when suddenly a huge n' hairy spider rocketed from under the drip tray and across the bar to where I was standing. My exclamation of "HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!" alerted my companion to the presence of the Frisbee-sized arachnid, which he promptly stomped out with his big-ass Aussie spider-stompers. The lesson learned here: Always check your bar drain tray for the presence of big friggin' spiders.
 

SYDNEY PUBS & BREWERIES VISITED:

Malt Shovel Brewery: Chuck Hahn is Australia's biggest brewing success story, and it helps that he is one terrific guy. If human cloning ever becomes a reality, Chuck should be second in line after Catherine Deneuve.

The Mercantile Hotel: Located in The Rocks district, a cool bar in a heritage hotel with fabulously friendly staff, and the street market is right outside the door on the weekends. The patio features terrific people-watching in the heart of The Rocks.

Bell's Hotel: Jennifer is the singular best bartender I met on the trip, and one of the best in my lifetime. Funny, pretty, and able to run the room. In a cool area of town with a casual pub environment, it was my local for most of the trip.

Lord Nelson Brewpub / Hotel: Dream accommodations, too bad I wasn't staying here! One of Sydney's oldest hotels, with terrific beer and food. Nelson's Blood Ale - Dark red, malt-o-licious!

James Squire Brewpub: On the tourist magnet Darling Harbour, an oasis of excellent beer among throngs of restaurants. Beautiful patio, huge facility, cute wood-clad brewhouse. Most importantly, The Craic Stout takes full advantage of the Australian focus on mouthfeel. A wonderful stout.

The Australian Hotel: Can't say enough about a pub with soooooo many Aussie beers, but how about the food???? Choose between Kangaroo or Crocodile pizza. Hmmmmm.....that's a tough one.
 
 

Stop Two: Melbourne

Where Sydney has a population of about 5 million, Melbourne is a more modest 3 million. BTW, if you want to talk like an Australian (Aussie), you just add "...ie" to places & words. Brisbane is Brizzie, Tasmania is Tazzie, and Melbourne is Mellie, or at least that's what my mates tell me.

Like Sydney, Mellie is a coastal city, yet without the striking harbor. My hotel (motel, actually) was located in St. Kilda, a beach community about 45 minutes walk from downtown. What the hotel lacked in opulence it made up for in location: St. Kilda is very much a resort town, with it's own small amusement park on the shore, and a long expanse of tan beachfront with very cold water. The town center is chockablock with shops, restaurants and bars. The area surrounding my hotel consisted mostly of casual take-out places featuring Asian & Indian food. My idea of heaven, really. The toughest thing for me when I travel is finding food that is unapologetically hot & spicy, and for the most part this stuff was take-no-prisoners hot. Damn, them's good eats.

My first brewery visit was to the new facility for Mountain Goat Brewery. They had recently moved from a substantially smaller location, and the building was still being tweaked and adjusted even as they brewed. The young owner/operators were obviously very excited about the new location and the pending opening party that, of course, would occur the day after I left Mellie. I was meeting with Peter Aldred (who teaches brewing at the nearby University of Ballarat) and his students from his weeklong brewing class as they took a field trip to the brewery. After the tour we grabbed lunch at a nearby restaurant, where I ate grilled kangaroo on a delightful bed of mixed greens.

Which beer to have with kangaroo, you ask? A well-hopped one, obviously.

Seriously, "roo" tastes just like beef, and it is very lean. It was interesting talking to Peter's students, as their ideas and goals were exactly the same as most of the students in our Chicago two-week class: Everyone wants to open a brewery, get gold medals for their beer, and have the world beat a path to their door. Even after learning that making a success of a brewery is much more difficult than they had thought, most still pursue their dream. You gotta love that. History is full of the success stories of those who have ignored the difficulties and plowed ahead to make dreams reality.

I was really looking forward to getting together with my buddy Paul while in Melbourne. I met Paul at DIX Brewpub in Vancouver, where he was working as a choreographer for the movie "I, Robot". Paul is a very well-known actor in Australia, but he is also an enthusiastic brewer who has just released his first contract-brewed beer. A light-straw colored ale brewed at Holgate Brewery, it features a wonderful peach flavor from natural peach juices. Paul asked me to come along on a family event with his wife, mother & daughters to the local Belgian Beer Café. What an excellent venue. Situated on the grounds adjacent to a very old institute for the blind, the café has a huge outdoor beer garden shaded by massive trees and featuring an outdoor kitchen & bandstand with a live 8-piece funk band. The selection of Belgian beers was outstanding, with all the InBev-affiliated brands on draught (Stella, Leffe, et al) as well as bottled offerings from most of the major Belgian players. Paul & I spent most of our time trying not to talk about beer and bore our tablemates, but that didn't work all that well. Of course, we talked about beer. What else is there to do in a Belgian beer bar, for God's sake!!!

The following day we met with Brad Rogers, brewer at Matilda Bay (a regional brewer with a stable of awards to show for their efforts). Brad is also involved with Carlton United Breweries, one of the major breweries in Australia. Brad first took us through the big CUB brewery, which is a real showpiece of technology, then through a smaller brewery located in an industrial park outside on Mellie. The small brew system is where Brad gets creative, constantly monkeying about with new recipes and techniques to create beers that are out of the ordinary. Brad, Paul and I spent the better part of 8 hours flapping our gums about wild & weird techniques for "pushing the envelope" on beer styles. Hopeless beer geeks, we left the small brewery only to go downtown to Three Degrees, a yet-to-brew brewpub that is one of the most fashionably designed brewpubs I have ever seen. Big & bold colors, lots of glass, and a martini mindset would best define this upscale offering. We polished off the day by visiting Cookie, Brad's current favorite bar. Nothing on the outside of the place lets you know that there is a bar inside. The "Cookie" sign looks more like it signifies a clothing emporium than a watering hole, and you need to walk up a couple of flights of stairs before you enter a HUGE room with a multi-tiered bar area and people crushed together as though they were on a Tokyo subway. The volume of the room was wild with energy, and wait staff looked like they were recruited straight out of Details magazine. This was one terrific bar.

Though smaller than Sydney, Melbourne has its own distinctiveness that makes it a worthwhile destination. The downtown core is really a huge shopping district, with a well-delineated area that has block after block of stores, as well as museums, galleries and other cultural enclaves. Parks abound, making this one of the most walkable cities I have been to. In two days I walked 40km through the city & surrounding communities, stopping only occasionally for a malt-based libation. One of the sad parts of the Melbourne experience was discovering a terrific brewpub only the day before I left. Even sadder, it was only 15 minutes walk from my hotel: Gunn Island Brewpub & Hotel.

As I approached the bar at Gunn Island, I noticed a woman standing at the other end of the room. She was wearing work coveralls and big boots, meaning she is either the brewer or she has dubious fashion sense. The former was the case. Samara Fuss was her name, and Sam has worked on the craft side of things for a few years, including a stint at Little Creatures on the western side of the nation. Sam was busy painting an area in the hotel, so she just stopped by for a minute to say hi. That minute turned into about 45 minutes, and we had a terrific talk about the state of brewing in Oz. She is one of those brewers that will go places, showing the important mix of enthusiasm and realism that typifies so many of the world's best craft brewers. We parted company for a few hours, then I returned to Gunn Island to share a beer (okay, a couple...) with Sam and her co-workers Warren & Josh, and between the three of them they made me feel as though I had been a regular there for years. Hospitality is alive and well and living in Melbourne.
 

MELBOURNE PUBS & BREWERIES VISITED:

Half Moon Restaurant: Seriously dedicated to serving great beer, this Brighton restaurant is where Paul Mercurio hosts regular food & beer dinners. Top-notch bar areas, and they are meticulous about their draught service.

Belgian Beer Café: Part of an international chain of units operating under this name, expect a draught service ritual like that you would experience in Brussels. Even if you aren't hungry, of course you must have the frites. Leffe Dark on draught. Mmmmmm.

Billy Bells Hotel: Very old hotel on the outside, very modern brewpub-restaurant on the inside, with an Irish-style dry stout that wraps around your palate with a big, full roast character that doesn't bite.

Three Degrees: High concept soon-to-be-brewpub that flies in the face of conventional brewpub design. Bright glass & strategically illuminated décor with a lot of energy. A place to be seen in as well as to see.

Gunn Island: It shows what can be accomplished with only one fermenter and a totally cool bar. Old & traditional on the outside, new & polished on the inside. You can hang here for hours...maybe days.
 

Stop three: Auckland

I have a problem with packing for travel. I need to carry about 100 pounds of electronics in order to work from the road, leaving me little in the way of weight allowance for clothes. This trip seemed like an easy pack job, since I only needed sunny weather clothes. I guess I should have considered the New Zealand factor.

An Auckland summer weather forecast lasts for the next 15 minutes. Sunny & warm in general, the weather can switch to cold, windy & rainy in an amazingly short time. Shorts soon gave way to jeans, and my plans to go south soon "went south" when I saw the temperatures predicted for the coming week. No matter, the Auckland area had more than enough diversions to keep me interested. Auckland is one of the world's great sailing capitals, with nautical themes found everywhere throughout the city. Several America's Cup boats from years past are on public display, and you can actually head out on a Cup-class sailboat should you wish to take out a loan to do so. I didn't venture out on the Cup boat as I had no wet gear or cold weather clothes, but I watched the boats leave the harbor. An amazing thing, they are so hydrodynamic that they leave almost no wake as they cut through the water at high speed. The masts stand at about 100 feet tall, making for a majestic looking craft when under sail.

I had to drop the $18 required to go up the Sky City tower, which is billed as the tallest structure in the southern hemisphere. One of those "tourist trap" multi-deck tripod-shaped buildings, I stepped in the elevator fully expecting the obligatory glass front, which was perfect for recording the view with my new video camera. While I am normally okay with heights, this building threw up a new curve: Glass elevator floor. As we rocketed up the side of the 70-story tower, I looked straight forward because, if I looked down even slightly, it was as though my legs were dissolving. I walked off the lift onto the observation deck and breathed in deeply, trying to regain sensation from the waist down. It didn't help that the observation deck also had sections of glass floor, which I managed quite well to avoid. I sat down in the café area with a big-ass latte, and struck a conversation with people at a table sitting next to me. They were locals, and we talked about the tower and the slight swaying that was occurring with the heavy winds brought on by the approaching storm. One of the gentlemen at the table suggested that the swaying was nowhere near as interesting as when lightning strikes the tower, which happens when storms blow through. My exit was swift and forceful.

After a couple of days at a suburban hotel, I moved to a motel that was on the edge of downtown in the Newmarket shopping district, which is the primary boutique shopping area in the city. As luck would have it, the hotel was across the street from the Loin Brewery, the main New Zealand brewery for Lion-Nathan. Of course, I had to take the "Lion Zone" tour, a $15 one-and-three-quarter-hour amusement that is billed as a "brewing experience". The experience in fact consisted of a 15-minute overview of what beer is made of, and hour of review of brand marketing points for Lion Red & Steinlager (the flagship brands), and half and hour of beer tasting. Hey, you have to love a story with a happy ending.

My good friend Luke Nicholas, the man behind www.RealBeer.co.nz and brewer of great excellence, suggested area brewpubs to visit, including Galbraiths, which was a 20-minute walk from my hotel. For this will I own Luke a debt of gratitude until my death. Owned & operated by Keith Galbraith (both publican & brewer), the pub that bears Mr., Galbraith's name is a true showpiece of brewing arts. Housed in a historic landmark building with giant columns at the entrance and a wood-clad brew system on view inside, Galbraiths is all about natural cask ales. With five cask varieties on tap pulled from beer engines, the selection includes three bitter ales, a perfect porter, and an IPA that was added as a special selection. For those who don't appreciate the cask style of service, two handmade draughts are served. For most of us, that would be enough of a selection, but Keith is confident enough to showcase his routinely excellent beer against "the competition": Galbraiths offer a huge range of guest beers on draught and in the bottle. The bar stocks a selection of British, Belgian and American beer that makes this pub one-stop shopping for beer lovers. As you would guess, the food kicks ass as well. Keith Galbraith somehow has balanced every factor that makes for a perfect pub: Excellent service, beautiful space, fun atmosphere, and top-notch food & beer. He is also funny, friendly, and the type of host that keeps people coming back. But whatever you do, don't tell him I said that.

On my last full day, I braved the elements to take a 1/2-hour ferry ride to Waiheke, an island off of Auckland noted for vineyards, beaches and an idyllic setting. On foot, I toured the small town of Onaruhu, which lies on an expanse of crescent-shaped beach that looks out on a jagged vertical coastline. From the main street of town, you walk ten minutes to a winery perched on a bluff that overlooks row after row of vineyards, crowned by a vine-laden observation deck that gives visitors a 360-degree view of beauty that defies description. Stand in one spot, turn around, and see mile after mile of islands, rugged coastlines, beaches and open sea. I now recognize a need to return to New Zealand, and bring more time and warmer clothes. This is one spectacular country.
 

AUCKLAND PUBS AND BREWERIES VISITED

The Shakespeare Pub: Great old building in downtown Auckland, the brewer is not afraid to go big, with a couple of high-test brews on tap at any time. I got my ass unfortunately beaten on trivia night. I blame it on the nationalistic nature of the questions, which stacked the deck in favor of the locals. I mean, what person in their right mind knows that many answers about cricket, anyway? I want a recount.

The Loaded Hog: Situated at the same marina where the America's Cup sailing competition was based, you can't ask for a better location, or a nicer lager. Beers for the Hog are made by their own local brewery, and concentrate on the lighter side of things so that they can be consumed in volume on their huge patio deck overlooking the grand sailboats in front of the restaurant.

Cock & Bull Restaurants/Pubs: Nothing goes better that beer & pub-style food, and Cock & Bull does both exceptionally well. A simple Bangers & Mash is raised to culinary excellence with a rich red-brown gravy, and it washes down superbly with Luke Nicholas' Pale Ale. The location in Botany was both restaurant and nightclub, packing in fashionable youngsters to funk on out in this suburban Auckland location. It has been a long time since that many beautiful women in one location have ignored me.

Galbraiths Brewpub: There are not enough superlatives. For cask ale lovers, this is worth the price of airfare. Not just the best brewpub of the trip, but one of the best pubs I have ever experienced.
 
 

The Wrap-up

Now, I know what you are thinking.....No Great Barrier Reef? No Ayers Rock? In truth, it is hard to keep salt water out of your beer when snorkeling, and the pubs on the Outback are too far apart to make for an easy crawl. Besides, there are apparently even more spiders and snakes outside the big cities, giving me more than sufficient reason to stay urban. Oh, and two people were chomped by sharks while on the reef, and I know there is a great white with my name on it somewhere.

Another good reason for not going touristy is the ability to relax in these great cities, meet some wonderful people and learn about the urban culture of Australia and New Zealand. Sharing a cold beer with a local is a great way to find out all about the place you are visiting, and I know a lot more about this area of the world after spending many hours with my new friends at the bar(s). Sharing a pint (or a pot) with mates is as important in this part of the world as in any of the world's best-known brewing capitals, and the people at the pubs were as warm and inviting as possible. While the amount of breweries or size of the industry doesn't equal that of Belgium or the Northwestern U.S., the young brewers of Oz and New Zealand have the enthusiasm and the drive to continue the growth of the already-strong craft brewing sector. Even you back-country adventurers need to find a cold beer every now and then, so rest assured that if you are looking for a vacation destination that offers the best of the great outdoors and the best of publican culture, think Down Under.
 
 

Keith "Bignose" Lemcke